Conservative Responses to Climate Change

I decided to start collecting the ridiculous things climate deniers have said about the extinction-level threat of global climate change.

When the climate has been so badly disrupted that not even the deniers can deny it any longer, this will serve as a "Hall of Shame" that the Right has sunk to—all for the "fun" of pissing the libruls off and serving their Fossil Fuel Masters.

Please add your favorites in the Comments!

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What is this "climate change" of which you speak? Don’t be ridiculous.

It would be impossible for mere humans to change the earth’s climate. It says so in the Bible.

It’s cold outside. How can the earth possibly be warming?

The climate isn’t changing. Anything you see is just normal fluctuations.

Earth is actually getting cooler, not warmer.

If global warming did exist, it would be a good thing.

Climate change is a hoax perpetrated by evil scientists because they want more research grants.

Climate change is a hoax perpetrated by evil liberals because they want to take away our SUVs.

Climate change is a hoax perpetrated by the evil Chinese to make U.S. industry uncompetitive.

Global warming stopped a few years ago. Crisis over!

If the climate is changing, humans aren’t responsible.

Scientists are divided over whether climate change is real. It would be foolish to act before they are 100% in agreement.

The climate may be changing, but there’s nothing we can do about it.

If we ignore climate change it will go away. So we need to outlaw any mention of it.

Trying to do anything about climate change would destroy our economy.

If climate change becomes a problem, the free market will find a solution.

The Chinese may appear to be serious about fighting climate change, but that’s just part of the hoax.

Freedom to emit unlimited greenhouse gases is a fundamental American right.

Miami isn’t drowning. Tropical pests and diseases aren’t expanding toward the poles. The polar ice isn’t melting. Wildfires, droughts, and storms aren’t getting worse. Who are you going to believe, us or your lying eyes?

And finally, of course: Climate change is fake news.