The lights burn late into the night in Manhattan

Don't you just know that all over Manhattan this past weekend, the swells in their Armani suits were burning the midnight oil? They were combing through the language of the government's proposed bailout plan, looking for an angle…

No doubt a number of them had similar "Aha!" moments. Let's see: if we package some of these new government bailout bonds, mix in a little heavily-discounted bad paper, apply 20X leverage, and come up with a fancy new acronym, why, we just might be able to create—wait for it—A BRAND-NEW DERIVATIVE "PRODUCT"! Think of the commissions! Think of the easy profits! And hell, if it all goes south, the Feds will bail out the bailout! I'll be able to afford that summer place in the Hamptons after all!

Don't you just know it?